Sm-igar?

Poll Withdrawals?

With the passing of the presidential election, I discovered a void in the bombardment of meaningless, manipulated polls that had become customary on the daily news. In order to fill that void for myself, and perhaps other sufferers of Post-Election Poll Distress (PEP'D), I located some truly substantive poll results to show you. So if you're feeling a bit PEP'D up, enjoy:

Source: jankyvision.com The Most Rusted Name In News

Just In Time For Christmas

Now, if you are like me and have always aspired to have your very own wooden cigar store Indian family, then you are in luck. Lucky, in the sense that I have found a great place to obtain said family.

Check out Circle KB - "Where the Wild West Still Is!" for details on getting your new domestic companions. This spiffy set will only run you $4,600 and will no doubt cause you to be the toast of your neighborhood.

The creator of these pieces is Frank Gallagher and you can find non-family-unit cigar store Indians, too. Offered at heights of 3 and 4 feet, these unencumbered cigar gnomes start at around $900.

Woo woo woo (hand to mount repeatedly), Merry Christmas!

Cigar Gangsters from 1913

Even back in the day, the thefts our finer goods and comforts were front page news. New York Times' complete article.

Cigar Bar Battles Blazin'

$321.

How much money is that to a bar owner's daily take? Is it a big enough bite to make the owner actively enforce a local smoking ordinance inside his establishment? And then to walk this legal-ease tightrope of whether or not his place qualifies as a posted cigar bar? Please.

To me, it's not so much the money, or whether or not the ordinance is a good one, but the fact that somebody has gone to all the effort and expense to go after the bar owner for this piddly little ordinance violation. Who is it that has that kind of time on their hands and that kind of spite in their head?

Here's the article exerpt from examiner.com-san jose:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. A bar owner found guilty of breaking the state smoking ban law is seeking a new trial, alleging jurors went to his business during deliberations to investigate.

Murray Street Darts bar owner Bruce Hicks plead guilty this week to violating the state's smoking band but it's a jury trial from last month that he's contesting. Hicks' attorney says two jurors went to his client's bar to see if he had a sign that advertised it as a "cigar bar." Judges forbid jurors from researching cases.

Hicks has maintained he is exempt from the ban because he qualifies for the "cigar bar" provision, meaning at least 5 percent or $50,000 of his revenue comes from the sale of tobacco products.

Hicks' attorney says the jurors reported back telling others there was no "cigar bar" sign.

Two other local bar owners also plead guilty this week to violating the ban. Each paid a $221 fine.

Hicks paid a $321 fine this week for the most recent case.

...Perhaps this is big money for the local municipality.

...what would it say on the back of a smoking ticket??

"Smoke" Shop?

NEED SOUTH BAY SHOP WITH GOOD DETOX CLEANER

"I need to know of a smoke shop in the south bay that's got a good detox cleaner. something that will really detox me not just mask for one test, cause i'm going to have 3 tests coming up at random. I know one is monday for sure. but other than that don't know when they'll be"

During what has become a semi-regular routine of browsing craigslist for 1) freelance job opps and 2) just interesting stuff, I found the above post by a person looking for a way to clean out their system to pass a drug test. Specifically targeted in the posting's title was "Smoke Shop".

Here's the actual craigslist link to this little bee-bop: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/com/874583974.html

I'm thinking this person maybe ought to check a few articles below and read about the ex-cop who encourages cigar smoking versus marijuana...

About 21 years ago, when smoking weed was the-thing-to-do, I distinctly recall the lure of the smoke shop - the pipes, the papers, THE PARAPHERNALIA. Oooooo, the toys. The craigslist posting for the chemical toy (detoxer) took me back to remembering that if I wanted anything, anything at all, that was related to my smoke all I had to do was go to my buddy. "Dude! I need to get some... (fill in the blank)." And it would just happen; now days, this poor soul has to get up on craigslist of all places to solicit that kind of help for that kind of problem??!

Me, oh my, where has Dave gone? Oh yeah, DAVE'S NOT HERE!

It's much nicer, these days, to yearn for the aroma of cigar smoke - no hassles associated with it, no FIVE-O, just some peace of mind. Plus, the "dude" I'd probably hit up for a cigar or the location of a good smoke shop is more likely to have green in his wallet instead of green on his tongue.

Paul Newman 1925 - 2008

I always thought Paul Newman personified "cool". Not just because of the part he played in Cool Hand Luke, but in all his other famous roles and because he seemed to carry that same demeanor in his off-set life and activities. Just one of those guys who I would always stop and watch if I saw him in the news or in one of his movies on TV.

She Don't Know She's Beautiful

Padilla Cigars' video shoot with Natalie Martinez. Just plain beautiful. Gives us a nice flavor of Miami; the beautiful woman, the cigar, the streets, the music. A nice diversion, I think.

Greensboro Police Don't Like Cigar Robbers

Hawaii Five-O doesn't come close to measuring-up when it comes to the way the Greensboro boys-in-blue went after a guy who robbed the local cigar shop!

We're talking about a helicopter, K-9 units, ladder-climbing cops to check the roofs, and an all-out shut down of local roadways in search of the bad guy. Gotta hand it to the citizenry of lovely Greensboro -- they know how to hire politicians that know how to hire cops! So check out the following news blurb for details and cool pics of the whole story, but I find it comforting to know that when somebody messes with a good ol' cigar shop in the middle of tobacco country, they're in for one heck of a run.

In Greensboro, North Carolina, Officers from three agencies using a helicopter and police dogs spent Thursday afternoon unsuccessfully searching for a man suspected of robbing a cigar store on Alamance Church Road.

The report says that at 11 a.m., Greensboro police responded to an armed robbery at Tobacco World at 1027 Alamance Church Road.
The robber drove off, but someone in the business was able to take down his license plate number.

From that number, police were able to get an address associated with the vehicle, and deputies headed to that neighborhood in an unincorporated area near the city's edge, said Col. T. Randy Powers, with the Guilford County Sheriff's Office.

Deputies confronted the suspect near 1300 Youngs Mill Road, but the man ran away before the deputies could get near him.
Police, deputies, and Highway Patrol troopers cordoned off the area and searched until 3:45 p.m., using police dogs and a Highway Patrol helicopter.

"He could have fit in the one lucky hole (where) we didn't have somebody in fast enough," Powers said.
No one was injured in the robbery.

The bad guys was described as a man as 6 feet tall and slender, with dark hair and wearing jeans and a black shirt.


...anybody in Greensboro fit that description?

...any of the other smoke shops putting up rewards or publicity??

Ex-cop reveals how teaching your teen to smoke cigars can prevent them from smoking weed...

Smoke cigars not weed.

“Ex cop reveals how teaching your teen to smoke cigars can actually prevent them from smoking weed or taking drugs!”


This little gem of a tag line took me to cigarsnotweed.com and was worth the read, just for the entertainment value and even a little "makes you think". John Wingert has a brief article about some things you might consider when trying to keep your teenager off drugs.

AND ON A RELATED NOTE:

Two men in Chattanooga, Tennessee, were arrested after drying marijuana in the microwave of a 7-11 while a police officer was inside. The smell of marijuana soon filled the convenience store. The men told authorities they were on their way to a drug rehabilitation clinic when they stopped to dry their pot.

Ohio Teen Shot Dead After Egging Cars

September 1, 2008
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A Columbus teenager who was throwing eggs at cars as part of a late-night prank was fatally shot, police said Sunday.
Police said 16-year-old Garrett Burton was with at least one other teenage boy Saturday in the backyard of a home when someone shot him in the head just before 3 a.m. Police have no suspects.
The band at Westland High School, where Burton was a student, played the school's alma mater in memory of him at Saturday night's football game.
Another Columbus teen was killed in an egging incident in December 2006. Fourteen-year-old Danny Crawford was shot after a group of boys he was with threw an egg at a car. No one has been charged in that case.

Suspected Car Thief Gets Caught In Overturned Port-a-Potty

September 1, 2008

TAMPA, Fla. — A suspected car burglar in Tampa made a dirty mistake when he hid out inside a Port-O-Let.
Tampa Police say 22-year-old Lorenzo Earl Knight broke into two cars Saturday. One of the owners fought Knight and chased him to a nearby construction site. Knight tried to hide in the Port-O-Let, but when the victim found him he overturned the toilet, dumping huge amounts of human waste on Knight.
Knight has been charged with auto burglary and possession of burglary tools.

Problem = No cigar involved.

Hollister Motorcycle Rally 2008

This year the powers that be decided to start a tradition of having the annual Rally on the weekend AFTER the 4th of July. While this is a debated move away from the years past, it's an effort aimed at making the event better for bikers, spectators, vendors - just about everybody involved.

Here's a link to a positive review of this year's rally http://johnnysbarandgrill.blogspot.com/2008/07/july-4th-and-2008-rally.html, along with another nice post that explains some of the logistics behind changing the rally schedule, http://johnnysbarandgrill.blogspot.com/2008/06/rally-questions.html.

I also found this link to a fairly cool slideshow from the rally that was put together by the local newspaper, the Hollister Freelance, http://www.hollisterfreelance.com/video/246719-2008-hollister-motorcycle-rally-slide-show

How do cigars fit in to this little piece? Only in that the event was outdoors and even the strong police presence didn't hamper the smoking enjoyment of strolling down the streets and taking in all the sights!

The Great George Carlin - About Cigar Smokers

This video contains adult language.

I'll miss the purposely rebellious and left-field, left-wing humor of this comedy genius. He had an inherent skill to push all the buttons of the politically correct amongst us, and in that I think lies one of his greater contributions through comedy. His illustrated perceptions of people, institutions, governments and the like were so surgically abrasive that they could do no less than make me laugh and think, then laugh some more.

The video included above is his typical, hilarious button-pushing of those of us who enjoy the cigar. You've got to be smiling at yourself after watching this one.

I remember as a kid having to conceal from my parents the fact my buddies and I were listening to Carlin. And heaven-forbid that any of us used one of the "Seven Dirty Words" that helped make him even more revered! Here's a link to a good YouTube video of Carlin performing that bit - MORE ADULT LANGUAGE.

I was reading some summaries of his more famous moments, and came across this 1997 AP interview of Carlin where he talks about editing his own obituary.

George Carlin 1937-2008

$4m Cigar Theft

This one's out of Australia. 83,000 cigars stolen from a warehouse over this past weekend. The thieves apparently were able to disarm the alarm system, and the preliminary investigation penned the incident as having happened sometime between Friday at 4pm, when everybody went home, and Monday at 8am when employees came back to work and discovered the 'slight' inventory shortage.

The owner, Tobbacconist Charles Vella, said the alarm system was not deactivated from inside the premisies and speculated the crime was one of organization rather than opportunity. A further indication of this was the fact that all 83K of the sticks were Toscani brand, and Vella was the only importer of the popular smokes in all of Australia.

Another interesting little twist, sure to be a helpful investigative lead for the police, was that 2 other brands were stolen along with the bulk of Toscani cigars; Police have said other brands stolen include Flor De Filipinas and Il Barone, which are not currently for sale in Australia.

So all you have to do to solve the case is find the guy on the street selling these 2 brands at can't-beat prices. It's not like he can hop the border fence into another country and offload 'em!

Chewgars - For the Descriminating Dog

My dogs are stressed. They've just been through a geographic move that uprooted them from their home of the last 9 years. What more could a master do to settle the nerves of his faithful best friends than to treat them to a high-end Chewgar? I mean really, they should expect nothing less!

While Chewgars are not considered in the same light as precious contraband smuggled from Cuba, nor do they emit the same enticing aroma as a fine Havana-born product, they do provide similar calming effects.

The drool from my Shepard and Lab was non-stop when the above pictured Chewgar Box (16 pc) was unwrapped, and the flavorful aroma of beef, chicken and chocolate flavored cowhide filled the air.

This unique product (about $40) can be found at Bars, Cigars & Brew, where they have a lot of good stuff for humans, too. I like their site; it has interesting shopping for your bar and pub needs, home and garden, coffee products, cigars and accessories, etc. As "Purveyors of fine living", they have some fun stuff to check out.

Golf Bag Heater Holder

It's hard to concentrate on your swing with your favorite freshly ignited heater clenched between your jaws, isn't it? Or the practice many more of us follow is to leave our cigar on the cart bumper or in the beverage holder. Walkers are oftentimes seen laying their stogie on the freshly cut, fertilizer-laden grass as they ready their club.

The Heater Holder, made by S.W. Burke, Co. is a solution for both riders and walkers. The golf bag accessory attaches neatly to one of the rain hood snaps at the top of your bag and has a 'safety chain' that clips onto your towel-holder loop or any other hanging loop on your bag. The genius to this approach is that the Heater Holder is right at the top of your bag, so you'll see it (remember it!) each time you remove and replace your club throughout the game. No more troubles leaving the cigar behind as it bounces off the cart bumper or out of the beverage holder, and for the walkers, no more leaving that lit beauty behind or even having to chance the infusion of fertilizer chemicals into the flavor of your smoking experience.

As an aside, I'm not sure what the intent of the 'safety chain' is. Perhaps style more than anything - kind of like the guy with the chain on his rear pocket wallet. But I do know that if I've got a cigar that requires safety equipment, I'm probably not out on the course with it.

In all seriousness, the chain is another great feature, in that the Heater Holder will still be attached to your bag if the snap becomes disengaged during your travels about the course.

This little addition to your golf bag can do nothing but improve your chances of enjoying a great round and a great smoke. Plus it's a very stylish addition to your game and you'll never have to worry about where to lay your cigar down. It's available at heaterholder.com in stainless steel, gold and sterling silver, ranging from about $25 to $225, depending on which metal you find most precious.

Found Primates while Perusing

You're right, the title is a bit weird. That's alright, though, because you're still reading and you might wonder how primates have anything to do with cigars or any other tobacco related product or activity. It's a stretch, but it's based on a signature phrase a friend of mine and I agree on wholeheartedly: "Monkeys Add Humor."

Crazy Monkey Hookah Freak Modern Tobacco is the title that caught my eye. I was perusing various sources of tobacco accessories, and POW, the title of the link hit me and I just had to see; this backs my premise that weird titles can peak your interest, and that when monkeys are involved, you just can't lose.

The link goes to hookahhub.com, which is a store that sells anything and everything Hookah. This also translates into just about anything and everything Tobacco, as well. Crazy Monkey, as it turns out, is a popular blend of shisha used in Hookah smoking. The site claims smoking a rip of Crazy Monkey will give you an irresistible urge to do the monkey dance...

So back to the cigar nexus. While reading through several areas of the hookahub site, I learned that Hookah Bars are becoming, or have become, almost as popular as our Cigar Bars. The crowds at these establishments are usually younger men and women, with numerous eastern and middle eastern influences, and are appealing to newer audiences here in the U.S. After seeing pictures of some of the Hookah Bars (people sitting yoga style on the floor with a Hookah vase at the center of their circle, or crowded cozily into a corner booth to share a Hookah pipe) it made me think of younger days when those images would have been associated with smoking something that certainly would not have been sold publicly.

Is this why Hookah smoking has not yet permeated the golf course? Or maybe it's because doing the monkey dance on the course could effect your handicap.

Faking It

What's in YOUR humidor? Or as importantly, the humidors of your local cigar shop. Reports that more than 3 million counterfeit cigars make their way into the humidors of unwitting smokers and even retailers in the United States each year give cause for caution. The purchase of an authentic product - the product YOU want - depends largely on your eye and knowledge, and of course your confidence in the cigar shop of your choice.

Do some snooping around the shop and chat with the owner; this can give you a good gut-level feeling about whether or not your cigar guy is up to snuff. Is his expertise solid? Talk to friends and read-up a bit to develop your own knowledge base.

The continuing infusion of counterfeit bands into the cigar market compounds the issue. Some of the work of counterfeiters is pretty shoddy and you can recognize a fake right off the bat. They use inferior paper stock, a lesser degree of embossing, along with being unable to reproduce the intricate details of a top-quality band; once you have an eye for this, you'll see that the cigarmakers are using complex band designs to thwart counterfeiters. An example of this is the gold dust on a Fuente Fuente OpusX band.

Nonetheless, some miscreants of society use stolen (authentic, but stolen) bands on fake cigars. Even the streets of Havana are known to be thick with black market smokes and bands.

Ultimately, the cigar itself is the only true test of its authenticity, but the folks at Cigar Aficionado have a handy online Counterfeit Gallery to help you spot the authenticity-challenged cigar.

Where There's Smoke, There's.... Jail?

U.S. Customs, the Border Patrol, and the Coast Guard. Are these the guys you would typically want to see on your return sail home from Havana? Probably not, unless you were in some sort of maritime distress. But that's exactly the situation two gents from the Fort Myers, Florida area found themselves in about two weeks ago.

Today, they were indicted on various smuggling charges that could net them 20 years in the clink - enter stage right - the U.S. Attorney General's Office.

They were bringing home precious Cuban contraband. As a matter of record, 364 boxes of Cuban cigars, 30 pounds of Cuban coffee, 45 bottles of Cuban rum and 100 cartons of Cuban cigarettes were seized from the boat.

The two guys in question, Martin Sengeis and Douglas Hiner, were sailing their 51-foot sloop home from Havana when Sengeis ran it aground (for unknown reasons). A Coast Guard crew responded. While checking things out, the Coasties saw a bunch of Cuban goods in plain view aboard the boat, which precipitated the response of the Border Patrol and Customs. 26 specialized smuggling compartments were then found in the boat.

This eventually lead agents to a storage facility where they found 27,000 various Cuban cigars and over 40 bottles of Cuban rum.

Treasure Island...?

Smoking a Cigar - A Quick How To

Remembering how much crap my buddies gave me when I first started smoking cigars - because I didn't know what I was doing - was one of the inspirations for getting this little guide together. While it doesn't address the etiquette involved, you can start with this and work your way up to smoking with the big dogs! Enjoy that smoke.


A) Prepare your cigar. Make sure the cigar is properly cut, a cigar cutter is always the best option, but to save money or if you don't have one, use any other kind of sharp blade. Make sure that the cut is sharp; you do not want jagged edges as these can lead to uneven burning of the tobacco. Double guillotine cutters are most frequently used because they consistently produce a perfect cut. Although some manly-men may choose to bite the end off, it only really works in the movies. See how manly you look when you're spitting out bits of leaf for the next 3 days.

B) Remove the ring wrapper.

C) Properly light the cigar. Wooden matches or butane lighters are preferable as they impart no taste on the cigar. If you're using a wooden match, wait for the sulfur to burn off the end. Hold the flame up to the end and suck lightly with your mouth to draw the flame to the tip (not necessary if you're using a butane lighter). Don't inhale the smoke. An even light is one of the most important aspects of smoking a cigar; if necessary rotate the cigar around to ensure that the entire tip is lit.

D) Smoke it. Hold the cigar up to your mouth and draw in smoke, hold it in your mouth for a few seconds to cool it, and then let it go. Do not inhale cigar smoke.

E) Repeat step C 2-3 times a minute until you are done smoking it. Cigars can last really long, so don't be afraid to extinguish it to have another time when you are done.

F) Extinguish it when done. Simply set it aside in the ashtray. The cigar will extinguish itself after a minute or two without you puffing on it. Before you set it down, gently blow through the cigar to expel any smoke that will go stale. You can relight your cigar at a later time and enjoy it all over again.